I've been laying pretty low lately. Mostly because I'm just exhausted. The other part is I'm trying to keep my emotions at bay. I can't wait to have Monkey here, to hear her cry, see her face, to know she's okay. I feel like I'm holding my breath till then.
I had a breakdown moment on Friday when I realized that this week is 35 weeks and I just broke down... I don't know how I can still stand after losing Micah. All these emotions came rushing over me... I am so attached to Monkey as I was (and still am) to Micah and that pain of that loss was so real right at that moment. It has been at different moments over the last 9 months and I just haven't wanted to share with anyone other than Eric. I just couldn't. I just can't. It's too deep, too raw right now. And As I type, Monkey is kicking me and she has the hiccups, letting me know that all is well in her world. Well, I'm off to go get an ice cream cookie sandwich. I think it's good for my emotional health... that and chocolate.