It's Okay.

My friend Rhonda recently sent me and Eric a care package with many different things. In it, was a beautiful necklace with a heart of 2 colors and then with a little bitty heart attached (the baby Micah heart!) and many other things to let me know she cares and remembers and also a beautiful scrapbook and letter to show the hope and excitement for our daughter to come! We loved it but I could tell that Rhonda was a little nervous as to how I would take it. And for you that are wondering, It means the world to me that you remember. That you are okay that I'm not really who I was. That a part of my heart is gone. that Micah is a part of our lives. our family. And he will always be. It's okay to ask me questions. It's okay. And if you're uncomfortable for some reason, talk to me so maybe we can work thru it together.
I say all this because I had to get some "assistance" from those that have suffered the loss of a child due to stillbirth because I have recently received a "when will you be over it?"(the frustration of not being able to raise Micah) comment. And I fumbled for words. And I once again thought, well maybe I'm in the wrong. Maybe I shouldn't share. Maybe I need to be stronger so this doesn't bother me. But it still does. I am happy for my friends and family that are having and have healthy children. I am just sad for me and Eric. I celebrate with you but my heart grieves for us. I don't think people get this. I grieve the fact that Micah won't reach the milestones that the kids who would've been his playmates do. I just miss what was hoped for, dreamed about and imagined.

Karin