Monkey is 2 weeks and 3 days old today! Honestly, I can't remember life without her. I know this is said all the time but I really mean it! I don't remember what it was like to sleep thru the night, to not have her to hold and kiss, to not here her high diva squel when I take too long to feed her. I thought that I would have a harder time emotionally with the fact that all these things that I get to experience with Monkey I never did or will with Micah. And although I've had these moments, I am at peace. I am not okay with never holding my son again or the fact that Monkey won't get to grow up with her brother but I am finally coming to terms in a way I never did before. I am not sure I can explain it any better than that.
Here are some pictures of Monkey!

SHE HAS ARRIVED!

At my Wednesday appt. the doctor told me that all was well, I was not dialated AT ALL and he'd see me the following Wednesday. Well, I guess the doctor didn't know that I was going to prove that the old wives tale that spicy food brings on labor was in fact true! My brother was in town Wednesday so we all went to a mexican restaurant. Monkey was born on Thursday, May 28, 2009. She is beautiful, healthy, and a joy.

Not much to say.

I've been laying pretty low lately. Mostly because I'm just exhausted. The other part is I'm trying to keep my emotions at bay. I can't wait to have Monkey here, to hear her cry, see her face, to know she's okay. I feel like I'm holding my breath till then.
I had a breakdown moment on Friday when I realized that this week is 35 weeks and I just broke down... I don't know how I can still stand after losing Micah. All these emotions came rushing over me... I am so attached to Monkey as I was (and still am) to Micah and that pain of that loss was so real right at that moment. It has been at different moments over the last 9 months and I just haven't wanted to share with anyone other than Eric. I just couldn't. I just can't. It's too deep, too raw right now. And As I type, Monkey is kicking me and she has the hiccups, letting me know that all is well in her world. Well, I'm off to go get an ice cream cookie sandwich. I think it's good for my emotional health... that and chocolate.

Reminiscing.

During the summers of 1999 and 2000, I lived on Mackinac Island. There's something about just hearing that name that causes this crazy nastalgia. The first summer I worked there, I worked at a Bakery. I lived upstairs with 14 other girls in a 4 bedroom/2 bath/tiny kitchen/no dining room/small living room apartment. That summer I met Carrie who was also my "house mom". Carrie, my roommate Tammy(who grew up on a farm in a whole different world then me but was such a great roomate), and I hung out all the time. We worked together, hung out together. By the end of the summer, I don't think we thought we would ever want to see eachother again. But, a few months later, we were in touch again. I have been unable to contact Tammy for the last 7 years but Carrie is still one of my favorite people. She is the one I call when random things happen. She is very busy, working different hours than me, so I usually leave rambling messages on her voice mail. Not sure why. It's just what I do and so far, she still laughs!
Summer 2000 was good too. I got out more, trying hard not to gain the 15 lbs I gained the summer before (I lost it all on a few weeks once I was away from the cinnamon rolls that were as big as my head), and really explored the island. I also worked at the coffee shop as well as the bakery. This was when I fell in love with coffee shops and planted that seed of hope to one day have my own.
With all the stress of life these last few years, I think my memories are fading sometimes... but not when I think about these summers. I remember so many moments, the people, the smells, the way it felt to walk to the post office and have a bunch of people say hi and know who I was. I remember the sound of the water, the breeze on my face. Exploring the Island on walks. Mission Point resort where we used to sit by the fireplaces after work and play cards. I am so thankful for this experience, for the memories. I hope that I can take my kids there someday and although they will look at the Island through different eyes, I hope that they will be able to grasp the beauty, awe and wonder of that place.

What's new.

My mom has a new dog. She's a delight! There's no other word to describe her, honestly. My mom had to put Charlie down just 2 days before Christmas so it was very hard. This dog had been abandoned and we found her wandering. She fits so well with my mom and is sweet and sensitive like Charlie and stubborn and funny like Sadie, who we had to put down 2 years ago.
All of our plants died because of the two cold spells we've had in the last month. We covered them with sheets but it didn't help at all, so we'll be plant shopping in March!
We're pregnant. Our daughter is due on June 20th. We're very excited but have had mixed emotions telling people. Thankfully, I have not received any tasteless or rude comments about replacing Micah or people acting like he doesn't exsist. Everyone is supportive of us and praying for us, which we greatly appreciate.
That's about all the "new" news for now!

I lost my best friend

Okay.. so not really but I have felt this way for the last week!
On Christmas Eve, Eric and I went to see Twi light. I was really bummed because I'd seen all those tweens on tv crying like babies and carrying on because of the vampire guy and I figured it'd be lame. First off, although I would never cry and carry on, Edward is one dreamy vampire! Second, I liked it so much that I went out and bought the book. I eventually read the entire saga (4 books and LOTS of pages) in about 1 1/2 weeks. This story was an easy read and like so many other people, I loved the characters. It ended well so it felt like a good break up. But a loss definately.
I do realize that some people may have beef with me reading books like this, but I really enjoyed escaping into the world of Forks.
I think the only other series that I felt this same way about is Anne of Green Gables. I still absolutely adore this story! I used to own most of the authors other writings but in a moment of crazy, I threw them out. I still have my hard cover books that my parents gave me for various Christmases. (And Dad, For my birthday, I would like the 2 movies for Anne of Green Gables. I've seen the first one many times but just learned there was a second one out there! This blog is so useful... I can even make requests for presents!)
So, can anyone suggest any good books or series? I need something to fill the void!

What Jazz does on car rides.

We take Trax the dog and Jazz the cat in the car with us when we're just running quick errands. The other day, I decided to take pictures of how Jazz entertains herself.